You might as well just patch it up or ignore it all together, which is what the vast majority of us do. We think that is pretty sublime!Ī navel, similarly, is sort of just this random hole in your gut, another thing that has absolutely no point as soon as you are born. A nipple piercing, by extension, is a useless colored dot in the middle of that useless colored dot, on a rather bland part of the body. He’s never probably gonna use it for anything, except maybe to swing from if he’s real kinky, and nipples, even on men, are pretty hard to miss. A nipple is a big useless colored dot on a man’s chest. A nipple piercing does a great job of enhancing and creatively transforming the canvass it was put on. The body is certainly not either of those things!īear with us as we try to make sense of this thing which really does not make any more sense to us than we are currently making to you.
Which parts of the body are gay men going to emphasize? The ears, which allow communication? The nose, which allows you to chew with your mouth closed? The eyes, without which, you don’t even know who you’re fucking? No, none of these things: gay men will pierce the superficial attributes of the torso – a mostly-boring, flat plane but for a few bumps, which needs to be enhanced lest we confuse it with a whitewashed wall, or coffee table. That philosophy continues, logically, to the body: manscaping, and then the pinnacle of manscaping: body piercings.Ĭertain parts of the body simply must be emphasized. Think of the Greeks, who were all gay, and all those Renaissance artists, and their secret boyfriends, etc.īecause humans have found true meaning lies in the non-necessities, we build fountains and public art, museums, zoos, galleries, the ballet, mini cocktail umbrellas, drag shows, feather boas and sequins. We should add that so many of the people who started that stuff were gay. Gay men, whose penises are also in search of meaning, drive them to be especially artistic. In search of meaning, humanity has developed the fine arts: theater, painting and sculpture. In fact most of humanity lives in that universe all who do not farm are forced to do something with their time just for the hell of it, like draw pictures or learn musical instruments, or work on Wall Street, which also has no fucking function or benefit to society except to put up offices and skyscrapers that are our cities’ most cherished things precisely because they house our most useless people. How many gay people do you know of who live on a farm and grow shit, or hunt and gather, which is the only literally necessary profession? In all likelihood a gay man will have booked it out of the rural areas before turning 19. Everything must be decorated! Gays live in a post-utilitarian universe, where every activity is in some way artistic.